"I think I'm Big Meech/Larry Hoover...."

I was reading a blog I frequent when I came across an interesting question. A popular nineties rapper, who shall remain nameless, is completely dumbfounded by the success of William Roberts BKA Rick Ross. He doesn't understand how a correctional officer turned rapper can lie about his drug lifestyle and still be a number one selling artist who raps about, well...dealing drugs. I will try to answer his question in this blog post.

To begin, most people who listen to music, especially secular rap music, with its women, cars, parties, drugs and other decadence, haven't really experienced the thrills of the lifestyle. Even still, we rap right along with Baby when he boasts about "big mansions," and Drake when he brags about "champagne showers," and yes, even with Rick Ross when he proclaims to the world that he is on the same level as the one time mastermind of a multi million dollar drug ring. 

Rap gives us a reason to nod our heads and and opportunity to live vicariously through the hyper masculinity and/or overt sexuality presented by the artists. We download the songs, preview the albums or keep our stations locked to the local Hip Hop radio stations, waiting for the 4 or 5 minutes that we can get away. 

I vividly remember listening to Dead Prez during my freshmen year of college while getting ready for class every morning. A friend put me on to them during my senior year of high school and I never looked back until after the Lord called me several years later. They had an infectious and conscience rap hit out at the time, titled Hip Hop. Not familiar with Dead Prez? Well, to put it bluntly, they are a militant rap group with ties to Pan Africanism and the Black Panther Party. On one hand, they rapped about discipline and intellectualism. They even had a cool take on Orwell's Animal Farm called Animal in Man. On the other hand, the also rapped about the overthrow of the U.S. government and, get this, the futility of attending public schools and universities. Isn't it Ironic? Let's Get Free let me be the angry, rebellious woman I was afraid to be and I loved it. Did I love it enough to quit college, join a commune and become a vegan? NOPE. Truth is, I wasn't a revolutionary. I just played one in front of the mirror of my second floor dorm room. 

This fact didn't stop a condescending smirk from forming on my lips when I saw a car of blondes riding in a drop top convertible singing Trick Daddy's I'm A Thug about a year later. What on earth did they know about being a thug or being discriminated against for having the sad misfortune of being poor and black? Well, they knew about as much about it as I knew when I was 11 years old, singing "Rolling down the street/Smoking endo/Sippin' on Gin and Juice"--absolutely nothing.

In short, rap music for most people is primarily entertainment. Pure escapism. It's always been this way, but I think the rapper who originally posed the question has forgotten this. We all forget this sometimes. I understand that there are people who enjoy these songs and actually engage in the behavior discussed in the lyrics. They really are out shooting people, getting high everyday and being super promiscuous. The rest of us are just looking for a temporary thrill and a dope beat.

There are other aspects of this phenomenon which could and should be examined, but it's getting late.

Peace.

Disclaimer: This is just a social commentary. I'm not advocating the purchase or support of any of the music/artists listed above. (Should I really have to type this??) *sigh*

Facebook characters

I've been on Facebook since 2005. I've seen interesting characters emerge in this time. Below is a list of the most notable.

1. The Hated: These people are ALWAYS being hated on. I can never really understand why, but each day they post another rant about people hating on them and their life achievements. Whether it be their recent purchase of a '97 Pontiac Grand Am or finishing up their degree at Everest College, haters just don't want to see them living large.
2. The Random Capitalization Crew: The rules are capitalization are quite easy. Always use a capital letter when writing/typing proper nouns and the first word of sentences. The RCCs don't respect these rules and for this they must die (or be hidden). Nothing is quite as annoying as scrolling down my news feed only to see a status message tYpeD LiKe THis. Why do people do this? It's much more difficult to type this way. It's unnatural and hard on the eyes. 
3. The Three Namers: Okay. I don't use my real name on Facebook. Why? Well, because I already have my face in over 100 pictures. Call me crazy, but I think pairing my name and my face on the internet is asking for problems in the future. Many Facebook fans have chosen to use their real names and many women include their maiden and married names to avoid confusion and to assist others in finding them in searches. When I think of the "three namers" I think of people like: John Morethanjustanoption Smith, Tanisha QueenBee Hall, and Andre BigThangsPoppin Holloway. My message to them. Please stop.
4. The Wise Old Owls: These are the Facebook friends who put up like 10 cliched quotes a day about success. They have the answers to all of life's problems...and if they don't, they know a dead person who does. 
5. The Likers: They've never seen a page, group, photo album or status message they didn't disagree with. They people "like" about 50 things a day. They even like their own status message updates. They're a happy, simple people. Easy to please.
6. The Gamers: Ever looked to the left side of your home page and noticed that you have 74  game requests? Thank the gamers. Whether it's Farmville, Mafia Wars or Sorority Life, these Facebook friends live to play, especially during the hours of 8 a.m. and 5 p.m. So...don't be rude. Go help them on their farm, join their gang or become a member of their sorority...or...just do what I do and ignore most of the requests (unless it's Family Feud #judgeme)
7. The Theologians:  They read Spurgeon, Packer, Macarthur and Piper. They ponder the implications of Christ's atonement. They study the Protestant Reformation all day long. They are the theologians. Always ready with a relevant Bible verse, they fill your feed with nuggets notes and thoughts from their daily devotions. They also post hymn lyrics.... Actually beneficial most days.
8. The Models: You love them. You hate them. You know they have seahorses on their shower curtains due to all the bathroom mirror shots they've posted. You are familiar with their entire wardrobe. You know the interior of their car is gray leather. They fill your news feed with at least 5-10 mobile uploads a day. They've perfected the duck lips and they know they look best when photographed from the left side. #hateisawastedemotion
9. The Randoms: They rarely post new status messages and when they do, it's always something random like: "I'm hungry" or "Just saw a squirrel on a trashcan eating a lifesaver" or "Ligers>Tigons". 
10. The News Reporters: They give you the latest on topics ranging from sports to politics. Love them or hate them, you wouldn't know half of what you know without them. You don't need a newspaper if you have at least 5 reporters on your friends list.

That's all I've got, but I'm sure more exist.

"....that you may KNOW..."

My pastor is currently doing sermons on a range of requested topics until we get into our next book study (2 Timothy?). The last two were especially invigorating to me due to my current spiritual state/challenges. The topics were "Assurance" and "Christian Liberty"


I don't have my notes on me, but I'd like to suggest 1 John for anyone struggling with assurance. He gave us five points from the text so that we who "... believe in the name of the Son of God...may know" (1Jn 5:13) we have eternal life. He warned us not to look at these points as things to do to earn eternal life, but rather to see if these things were present in our lives. Four of the points were as follows, if I'm remembering correctly.

1. Growing intolerance/enmity for the world (not the physical earth, but rather all cultural/societal world views that defy and/or seek to replace God and the law of God). 1 Jn. 2:15 and following
2. Growing aversion to sin. 1 Jn. 3:1-10
3. Love of the brethren/fellow brothers and sisters in the faith (not just in word but in deed). 1 Jn. 3:11 and following
4. Desire to glorify God through practice of avoid sin/keeping commandments. 1 Jn. 5:1-5

I'm sure the last one must be faith in the person and work of the biblical Christ (outlined in 1 Jn. 2:18-25, 5:6-12), but I'm unsure.

So then, if we see this fruit in our lives, we can have some assurance that we've been born again. If we do not see this fruit we can still, as long as we have breath in our lungs, throw ourselves at the mercy of God (if we've actually realized our need for Christ's sacrifice, his holiness and our utter sinfulness). Funny how even in challenging us to examine ourselves, God still offers us mercy and grace through Christ. That's good news.

I really did love how he stressed that DOING these things doesn't earn salvation. Still figuring things out, learning things and seeking to understand God's grace. 

Anyway this was written in haste, so please excuse any typos...

God be with you.

All the time we've got is all the time we've got...

I attended a funeral yesterday. I wrote the following as I waited for the ceremony to begin.

Smiling faces. At a funeral. Someone took her last breath a week ago and people are smiling. Heads are turning. Seeing who's in attendance, checking out clothing and hair. Sizing each other up. A reunion of sorts for some. Wooden chairs in a rundown high school auditorium. Voices from the intercom make announcements for the living. It's not somber enough. Quiet enough. Respectful enough. I want to cry. She wasn't my best friend. She wasn't a friend at all. A mere associate, turned acquaintance, turned stranger. Haven't even seen her in 5 or 6 years. Can't say my eyes burned with tears when I heard about it. Feeling was one more of shock. Speculated about attending. Wanted to give those closest to her privacy. But here I sit in a hard wooden chair next to a three year singing "Happy Birthday" to himself with the buzzy murmuring of 50 conversations about season finale's, the songs on the radio and some woman who braids hair. No mourning. No tears. Just jaws chewing gum. Giggling and murmuring. I want to cry for her. I feel a rush of emotion surging through me. I feel the familiar sensation of warmth blurring my vision as I write. I want to stand up and shush everyone. Someone chuckles about another's absence. "She told me she was coming," says one. "She lie," the other responds. More chuckling. More mundane talk from the living. No brevity allowed. Just gum smacking and silly talk. It's hitting me. I wondering how closely this gathering mirrors my eventual funeral. I'm sick. Just cremate me.

Nothing like a funeral to make you ponder death and all it's implications. They brought the body in about 30 minutes after my arrival. The entire tone changed as we rose watched the pall bearers carry her in encased in a shiny white casket with a colorful bouquet securely fixed on top. I was glad.

I pictured her face, usually smiling, now flat and humorless, laying in the dark box and came close to tears again. Her family immediately after. I pictured myself at the funeral of my best friend/husband and the room blurred. I saw myself crying in the front row, fainting, vomiting in despair in shock.

There was singing, tears and even laughter are people gave remarks on how she touched their lives. It still didn't seem real to me and still doesn't seem real to me. I sat there wondering at times why I couldn't cry specifically about her death. She was a nice girl. A good girl. A beautiful girl. A young girl. Perhaps it's because I feel it's possible that she's with Christ. Perhaps it's because I didn't think I had the right to cry for her--like only those who loved her best should weep. I have no idea. I can be a leaky bucket of tears. Then it dawned on me that I hardly cry when one should cry. I didn't cry when my great grandmother's brother died, or when my grandmother's sister died, or when an older cousin died. But I've cried reading stories of abused children, or at the sight of stray dogs and even this morning when my husband informed me that he'd be away until about 10 p.m. or 11 p.m. today. I find it strange. I guess I could analyze it, but frankly it's too early to be that introspective.

Work prevented me from staying to hear the eulogy, but I'm glad I attended. It's the first funeral I ever attended alone and maybe only the fifth I've ever attended in my life. I'm glad I was reminded of her life and her energy. "All the time you've got, is all the time you've got...and in time, all your time will stop."

Insomniac ramble

1. 2+2=5
2. A video of  Waka Flocka Flame is in heavy rotation on many blogs and Facebook newsfeeds due to his less than intelligent answers to questions regarding education and voting. I want to laugh but it's not funny. I watched the video and felt bad for him...and for the YBY.  I don't mean this in a condescending way either. I REALLY feel bad for him that people are calling this dude an idiot and pretty much using him as a means to feel better about themselves. It appears that Terrance knew he was going into unknown territory with Mr. Flocka, as did Rocsi, which explains why she threw her head back in laughter when the interview turned "serious." Click here if you like watching train wrecks.
3. Recently discovered that Bible Gateway allows you to type in a passage to be read aloud in almost every translation. I may be late, but it's super cool. Check it out.
4. Warren is running his first 5K tomorrow. I should jack him up for doing one of my 101 Things (remember that? I'm still working on it! Ha!)
5. A "scaled down" version of my 10 year high school reunion is still on. #ohletsdoit
6. To Die is Gain is still probably one of the best rap albums I've ever heard. Stephen the Levite's flow is kinda ridiculous.
7. Speaking of CHH, I haven't bought a new album in a minute. Heard the single from Trip's album and pretty much passed it up. Think the same is going to happen with Lecrae's new joint. We do have Sho's second album. It was cool for the most part. Heard about A Yellow Man the other day. They have me excited again. I definitely want to branch out once I get other things settled.
8. Been listening to Line of Fire lately to give myself a break from Fighting For the Faith. FFTF is an apologetics show at it's core, and sometimes it can be a bit much. Might be time to retire all these radio shows and hit up Sermon Audio and TPC Sermons. 
9. Lies My Pastor Told Me. No, I'm not talking about my pastor. I'm talking about an eBook available for download that addresses 15 of the most popular church cliches of the day. Read it if you dare. Totally free.
10. Found out a woman I went to college with died yesterday at a dialysis appointment. It's still kinda surreal. We weren't close by any means, but we did work together for a couple of summers...even stepped together for 2 years during our freshmen and sophomore years. Never know when your time is up. "Oh Lord, make me know my end and what is the measure of my days; let me know how fleeting I am. Behold, you have made my days a few headbreaths and my lifetime is as nothing before you. Surely all mankind stands as a mere breath...." RIP Frances.
11. Why am I still awake?

One Hundred Thousand Trillion

1. Had the opportunity to catch the tail end of a coaches clinic at my alma mater thanks to hubby. Watched some cool plays and got the basketball season itch. Excited.
2. Spoke to a former caller on the phone today. Says she hates her new job. Put in her resignation today. Life after college is hard. lol...
3. Need some eyeglasses! Sooooo badly. Was supposed to go price frames today but those plans fell by the wayside. Grrrr.
4. Saw The Expendables today. Glad was caught it for matinee prices. More explosions than a little bit. C- at best.
5. Someone please come twist my hair! My locs days are numbered. I want my fro back. lol...*sigh*
6. Had a great few days of training this past week. New kids look good. Only time will tell.
7. So...Willow Smith has a song out. Jay-Z has signed her. What talent did this nine year old display that caught his attention, you ask? Say the following aloud in a high pitched voice: "I whip my hair back and forth." Now repeat that phrase for three minutes and 16 seconds with a few other adlibs and "haterisms". Add auto-tune and a really hot beat. Rinse, Repeat. Or...just click this link.
8. I really want a Pop Tart right now.
9. Facebook is a friend to the vain and an enemy to the covetous.
10. I think I need to take a break from the following: FightingForTheFaith, Facebook, Youtube and all messageboards. Yes...I think I will.
11. I've fallen off the "working out" bandwagon, but plan on getting back into the routine on Monday.
12. There are people in this world who will suck the life out of you if you let them. Run away.
13. All the cool kids hang out on tumblr. Don't believe me? Go over there! Thing is, I don't GET tumblr. LOL. I created an account and could never figure out how to use it...
14. Speaking of tumblr...their taglines is "....the easiest way to share yourself." Thinking about this brings to mind the concept of internet identity. I was browing tumblr the other day in amazement. I mean...is anyone really that cool or interesting...or mysterious. I really asked myself this. For example, I stumbled upon the tumbleblog of this chic named "Kesh." Follow the link if you're interested (be careful as she likes to pose nude), but I found myself wondering what this chick does during the day. Does she have a job? Who are her parents? What is her family background? Did she go to college? Why is she taking these pictures? Why are they so intriguing? So weird? So vulgar? I mean...who is this broad? LOL...How does someone become her? Like, what has to happen in your brain to produce the ideas behind her photography and personal style? I wondered the same as I browsed Facebook today. Saw some pictures that a FB friend was tagged in. She was an this SUPER ELABORATE bridal shower....as I looked at the detail, the clothing of the guests, the cakes, the gifts, I wondered to myself..."who are these people?" I can't quite explain it...the internet, art, photography have a way of altering reality, making life seem less ordinary and making people seem more interesting...it's really cool and kinda sad in a way. #Justthoughts
15. My dogs need food. Off to WalMart. *poof*

So...about that...

So...about that class reunion in October that I was pumped about.

 I received an e-mail today informing me that it's been canceled due to "low participation."

The brief convo to the left happened after I mentioned the cancellation in my status message.  Boooo I say...BOOOOOO!

My main question is why someone who told me directly that she didn't want to attend because of "wahh wahhh wahhhhh" is asking why it's cancelled...Puzzles me. There are some who really CAN'T come. I don't know what to make of those who live within an hour (or worse yet, in Hinesville) and plan on staying home.

I don't have much else to say about this aside from the fact that I hope those of us who wanted to go will still come together for a small but very spirited gathering...

There's actually a guy who's booked his flight from California to attend yet it was those who are a stone's throw away who pretty much broke up the party. They are lame. I hope they read this...

#thatisall

Note to self (and whoever's reading this)

I'm an avid blog reader. Blog topics ranging from saving money, to being a SAHM, to fashion and makeup fill my Blogger.com RSS feed equivalent ("Following"). I love reading about the lives of others, the views of others and the interests of others. I guess I'm naturally inquisitive. I get to journey other states and meet seemingly exciting, creative, humble, orderly people with the click of a button. Some days I chuckle, some days I'm in awe, other days I'm inspired to try new things or to approach life from a different perspective. The internet is truly a wonderful place, when used properly and in moderation.

In my first or second post, I divulged my relationship with blogs. I love them and then I leave them for a number of reasons. It's been easy to do because all of my blogs have served a particular and specific purpose in my life at the time they were written. My life immediately after undergrad was documented. My life as a young, single Christian in my first "real" job was documented. I documented loves and losses and all the foibles in between. Blogging, to me, is free therapy. Sometimes I visit my old blogs and I'm amazed at the person I find. Sometimes she's bitter. Sometimes she's thoughtful. Sometimes she's creative. Sometimes she's down right snarky. Other times she's one of the most focused and impressive women I've ever encountered.

Looking back at this blog, I see a change of tone that is both refreshing and depressing. The woman here has struggled with her role as a wife and eventual mother. The woman here doesn't know what she wants to be, or where she wants to go. The woman here is sometimes funny, mostly transparent and  trying to spiritually navigate her way through this life, for better and for worse. She's not perfect. She doesn't pretend to be.

Many of my blog posts will not be rainbows and butterflies. I don't want to create a different "internet" Glo that is more satisfying to the common palette (mine included). I need to be who I am. I need to see myself, flaws and all, so I can confront them and hopefully address them by his spirit.

Unsolicited advice

A past situation suddenly invaded my brain a few days ago.

I worked at Express for about 9 months several years ago. One night, near closing, two women walked into the store to take a peek at some of the newest addition to our fall line. I was standing next to the counter and one of the women approached me.

I assumed she was going to ask me about an article of clothing or a fitting room. She had something else in mind.

"Have you ever heard of Accutane?"
"Umm...yes."
"Oh okay, well I tried it and...*pauses* You may not believe this but my skin was worse than yours!"
*blank stare*
"What do you use right now?"
*babbling out my skin care regimine while trying to process the situation*
"Well, I mean, you should really consider asking a dermatologist about it."
*comments about the crazy side effects*
"I had the chapped lips and, of course I had to stay out of the sun, but...it's worth it!"

*Dazed and Confused*

I remember driving home to my apartment, utterly disgusted that this broad approached me about something so personal. I switched out my ailment/physical flaw for others to determine if I was overreacting.

*Glo approaching an overweight woman*
"Hi. Have you tried Jenny Craig? You probably won't believe me but, I was as fat as you were about a year ago."

Definitely rude..

How about....

*Glo approaching a person with traction alopecia*
"Hi. Have you ever heard of Dr. Miracle's Temple and Nape Gro Balm? It really works! Just last year, my edges looked as bad as yours. Now look!"

No...still...not...right...

One more shot....

*Glo sees someone with dingy teeth*
"Hi! *toothy smile* Have you ever tried Rembrant Intense Stain Toothpaste? It's really great. My teeth were as yellow as yours just last year, but check me out today!"

I'm sure her heart was in the right place. She found something that worked for her and she wanted to preach the Accutane gospel to all the lost and deprived, but my word!

I told my mother the story and begged her to pay for my visit to the dermatologist (no health insurance). Ever simultaneously love and hate someone? Yeah...I have...that woman. LOL...

Eh...don't know why I shared this. Perhaps it's my effort prolong the eventual abandonment of this blog. I will say that to this day I try not to offer unsolicited advice. Guess I should be thanking that woman for teaching me a life lesson on how to talk to people and consider the feelings of others...#heffa

I know...

Blogging is difficult when tackling a touchy subject. I've come here several times within the past few weeks intent on pouring my thoughts out on particular subjects only to close the browser after a few typed sentences.

Here we go again. Perhaps this will make it to the front page.

I'm growing increasingly impatient with "no it alls." Impatient is the opposite of what I should be, but alas,  more grace Lord. Admittedly, I'm burnt right now. Jaded. Disappointed. There are certain things you expect in "the world" that you don't expect among the brethren. I don't expect perfection (how could I?), but I do expect things to be handled biblically. I'm actually disgusted by the disregard and neglect in the situation...eh...I guess it is what it is. Loyalties run deep among the clique...and the band played on...whatever.

Moving on...

Shot a wedding a couple of weeks ago. Amazing. I haven't produced a video in years and I was in heaven. I swear it's what I was made to do...Maybe I'll get to do it full time one day.

Goos started the job at his new school yesterday. He chattered away about the day's events and showed me all his laminated posters he plans on hanging on the walls of his classroom. I haven't seem him this excited about work in over a year. I'm glad he's in a place where his enthusiasm, love for students and love for English will be appreciated. I swear his eyes were twinkling as he spoke. And he has beautiful eyes, by the way---all big and brown, with those long lashes. It's like he got his mojo back...greatness. He's happy. I'm happy.

Class reunion is in October. Have I really been out of high school for 10 years? Hard to believe. I refuse to play "one up" with anyone. I refuse to play the "what are you doing now?" game. I plan to get on the dinner boat on Saturday, ast some overcooked chicken, drink a couple of glasses of Pino and do the Cupid Shuffle until my feet hurt. No one...and I do mean, NO ONE, is going to make me feel like some kid sitting at the "uncool" table at lunch. I say shame on anyone who is avoiding participating for that reason.

Man...so...this "Double Rainbow" guy is killing me. I laugh everytime I see it. On the otherhand, I think it's awesome that he's so excited about something most regard as so simple. We're overbooked and under stimulated, caught up in the day to day stuff that frankly, won't mean much of anything in 100 years or sometimes 100 seconds. Maranatha.

Working out is my new thing. Walking and weight lifting are totally cool. Thanks BWDW! It's more about getting fit than losing weight now. I still want to slim down, but I also want to be healthy.

*yawn*

Long overdue ramble

I'm going to do a post about my current thoughts, struggles and observations about the faith, but until I have internet at home (August 4), ramble!

1. Finally moved and settled in. Still doesn't feel real, but I'm glad it's over. Dave Ramsey would be proud.
2. Let's see how long we can ignore each other, shall we?
3. Don't sweat the small stuff? Tell them that...
4. Going to a wedding in a few weeks. Booked the hotel today! Owwww!
5. GSU v SSU! Is it September 4th yet?
6. Speaking of sports--I've become an ESPN Radio junkie. Who woulda thunk it?
7. It's hot down here. It's SOOOO hot. It's heat that angers you. Like 85 degrees after the sun goes down. GRRRRR.
8. The Goos and I played racquetball twice this week. My RAC fee at work.
9. Risk. It's the difference between the Haves and the Havenots...well...that and money. Think it's time for me to take a few.
10. I went to the SCAD page and got slightly depressed, overwhelmed, intimidated. Sometimes I want a do-over...LOVED my college experience, LOVE my Eagles, but yeah...just sayin'
11. Salt was a C. Inception was an A.
12. Finally finished reading Strange Fruit and a few critical essays/articles on Richard Wright's Black Boy. Strange Fruit is a fantastic read! Run to your local library and work it out!
13. Speaking of Strange Fruit, here's Billie Holiday singing Strange Fruit.
14. Saw an old classmate today at Wal-Mart. G mentioned something about our 10 year reunion. She commented quickly about not going...He wanted to know why. I interrupted him and said, "She just doesn't want to go." Later for the whiny stories about what people did to you when we were all kids...stay home then. BUT more on this later. Can't front like I'm not a little iffy myself...maybe for other reasons, but iffy nonetheless.
15. It's my blog and I'll cry if I want to...
16. *poof*

Newness

We're blowing this Popsicle stand in less than 72 hours. Most of the large furniture is in storage. The worst part  cleaning is in the works for tomorrow. I'm a semi-happy camper. 

We're at the stage when things pop up. The extra books in the closet, when the "books" boxes are already taped and stored a mile away in a 10 x 12 unit. An extra hanger here, a wedding card there, a bank statement over there. GRRRR. I'm almost certain I've learned my lesson on not throwing things away and putting things in their place. The next 6 months will be used to discipline myself to be a neater person. 

I will say that Dave Ramsey would be pleased with our decision to move into a smaller, less expensive place. He'd probably scream at us if he knew we were only moving so we could continue our home search. He'd lecture us on how we should pay off ALL debt and stack bread. We may do just that if we save enough money. We're even thinking of living on one paycheck and banking the other for a few months (just to see if we can do it). I'm sure we'll break though.

In other news, the Goos is officially "Coach G!" He's teaching English and coaching basketball at a school in a neighboring county. So proud of him!

There is newness in the air. Much needed change.

The Return of Fresh Faced

Wanted to give an update on Fresh Faced. She and another Jehovah's Witness visited my house about two months ago. Can you believe she came back? How dope is that? Read more about our first encounter here.

I was in the closet sorting through an old box, throwing away tapes and papers. Can you believe I had an Animal Farm report from my 11th grade Honors English class? I'm sure I'm destined to be on Hoarders. I don't know if I've kept it because I'm a fan of dystopias or because I think someone, some day will want to read my brilliant 16 year old musings on the clear parallels between the story and the Bolshevik Revolution...

Anyway, the dogs start going crazy, as usual. Warren is home this time, so I ask him if someone's outside.

"I think it's some J-Dubs," he replies.

Once again, I'm thoroughly unprepared for company, both mentally and physically, but I jump up and throw some jeans on.

Warren is standing at the door, warmly welcoming our visitors. I peek around his tall frame and see her. It's Fresh Faced!

"Hi!," I beam.

Her smile is as wide as mine. It's almost as if we're old friends who haven't seen each other in a while. I see another woman approaching from my left side.

"This is my mother."

We greet each other and away we go...

We talk for about two hours. We cover everything from the reality of hell to the deity of Christ, from the 144,000 to Paradise Earth. While Warren and Mother discuss a passage in Revelation, I take advantage of a few moments to talk to Fresh Faced with little interruption from Mother. I tell her how I prayed she'd return. How I blogged about her. She smiles that shy smile, barely making eye contact. She agrees with me that the Lord led her back. LOL...We have our own ideas as to why. She's supposed to convince me that Jesus isn't divine, how he died on a stake and about "the kingdom." I'm supposed to tell her about the biblical Jesus, the one whose good news is of "first importance" according to Paul.

I tell her I understand the sacrifice she'd be making if she believed what Warren and I were telling her about Jesus and the blasphemous theology of the Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society.

"I know you'd have to give up relationships. Your mother, your father, all your friends...I know they wouldn't talk to you anymore. You'd be treated as an outsider."

She doesn't correct me.

I thought about how difficult terrifying it would be to abandon all you've ever known. Jehovah's Witnesses do not closely associate with anyone who is not a part of the organization. Imagine growing up in it! Her mother was baptized in 1983. FF has literally been in and around this cult her entire life.

Near the end, Warren tells them to check out Council of Nicea and I suggest they look into the Athanasian Creed. Aside from believing Trinitarians believe God the Father, IS God the Son (wrong), they also believe God the Holy Spirit is a force.

We exchange numbers and tell them we'll call them when we move to our new home.

"I don't think I ever got your name. My name is Gloria."

Fresh Faced looked at me, smiling. "My name is Shannon."

Pray this is the beginning of a friendship. We both really believe what we say, only thing is the gospel we preach is the gospel of Jesus Christ--the power of God for salvation. I know she came back because she thinks she can change my mind. We both have ulterior motives. May the true and only wise God be glorified through any future encounters we may have...

Love.

This is my story, this is my song...

1. I think we found a place to live! Yasssss! #bouttime
2. I'm working on something...getting back into writing. Had me reminiscing on my days in high school and my love affair with music. Ahhh...what happened to the good stuff? #iusedtoloveher
3. I remembered how dope Aquemini album was...they don't do it like that anymore...I don't even need to hear any new albums to know they don't. It's impossible. #amiallowedtosaythis
4. Okay...while I'm typing about them--EVERY album they released was ridiculous. #classic
5. I'm infatuated with hash marks and I don't even have a twitter account. #someonehelpme
6. I need about $5,000 for various reasons. Let me borrow a dollar...#please
7. Fresh faced came back! I'll have to blog on that later. Crazy right?
8. Listened to an OLD sermon on Isa. 55 today. Never gets old. Without money, without price.
9. So Warren is thinking of getting a tattoo on his 30th birthday.
10. Having a party this weekend in NC to celebrate Bobby's return from Afghanistan! I"m so excited to see my babes!
11. *poof*

Dear College Town....I hate you so much right now.

I completely forgot the hell that is trying to find suitable living arrangements in a college town---until today.

Property Management Company A

•  Requires a $50.00 application fee PER PERSON, despite the fact that I'm married for a "credit check." Warren and I are paying from the SAME checking account. We are MARRIEEEEEDDDD!!!!!!!! Duh.
• $50.00 application fee is non refundable, so they could charge me $50.00, rent all three apartments and keep my $50.00---wait, make that $100.00 since Warren is apparently considered my roommate.
• We can't even apply until Friday because Warren is out of town at a conference. Apparently the fact that we're MARRIED and not roommates is irrelavant to them. We both have to fill out their little application.

Property Management Company B

• Has not credit check, but requires a "Parental Guarantor" form.
• Desk attendant couldn't seem to figure out, despite me telling her, that two VERY GROWN, married people are not going to put mommy's financial information on a sheet of paper. Especially not a $450.00 apartment.

So you can rent an apartment and be treated like a child OR you can rent a house and get screwed every month because you KNOW you're being overcharged because everything is priced as if 3-4 unrelated people are living their (i.e., your typical college student living arrangement). OR OR OR...you can try to BUY something and realize the fact that everything, and I do mean EVERYTHING is overpriced. Why the crap do you think your 1,125 sq. ft. home, built in 1974 with floral wall paper, dark wood walls, original carpet and low ceilings is worth $120,000. Kill yourself. Immediately. Only HERE in this good old college town would you have the balls to utter $120,000 as a listing price for that house.

Why is it that property managers can't seem to fathom the idea that there are people who live here who AREN'T college students? Who do they think teaches the courses? Cleans the buildings? Handles administrative issues/duties? People man. Adults. Not college students. The ones who stay and will more than likely make a home here, you screw them. Why is this? ARGHHHHHH!

Vent over.

6/29/10 Ramble

1. Packing is coming along. Hope the property managers don't want to show this house though. Messssy!
2. We liked the house we saw yesterday. Something has me anxious though. Either the number of bedrooms or the location. Might be a sign that we need to pass on it.
3. I need to do a blog about my birthday. Shouts to the hubby, J. Nicole, her Pandora stations and "April" for making it great.
4. Speaking of Goos, he's cutting his hair off today! Eh well. Looks good either way.
5. We play Savannah State for our home opener. Love it! This will be the first time in two years that I attend a home opener. Yay!
6. 2 year anniversary in about 3 weeks. Feels longer than that...in a good way...
7. Used cold wave rollers in Monica's hair last week. Came out cute and lasted for a few days. Woop woop!
8. Found a camcorder on Facebook for $600.00. The kid is a SCADian and therefore, probably just trying to get rid of it. Hmmmm...We'll see.
9. We've been walking the dogs in the mornings. Relaxing and healthful.
10. Been slacking on our Dave Ramsey. We're back on it though...

Paused?

Much ado is being made of the latest victim of Aaron McGruder's Boondocks--Tyler Perry. Don't believe me? Google "Boondocks Tyler Perry" and read the listings. From blogs to newspapers, everyone's talking.

I can blog on this topic from many angles. My poison? The concept that McGruder is mocking Christianity in this episode. I'm actually chuckling right now. Anyone who can watch this episode and see mockery of Christ is missing the point by about a mile and a half.

The truth is this--Tyler Perry throws in a bit of Christianese for his fanbase. This suits him in two ways: 1) His fans think he's keeping it Christ. 2) His casual viewers regard his movies as "positive" because he mentions God. The only problem is that his attempts at being positive by including a few "God is good" lines is that he is mocking God. At least that's the way I see it. Some of his attempts are down right blasphemous. Sorry. Well, no...I'm not sorry.

The episode is on point in so many ways that it's ridiculous. It is what it is.

Other thoughts on Tyler Perry can be found here.
Peep the Atlanta Journal Constitution article here. Be sure to read the 18 pages of comments.

More on TP later.

Hit 'Em With that Flex...

1. I'll be 28 on Sunday. How did this happen?
2. Used a different Valana shade yesterday and made it liquid/tinted moisturizer by adding some moisturizer to it. Still washed right off and was still intact for the most part end of the day.
3. If it's over, then it's over. Break it off completely. It's not helping you and it's only encouraging him. Just sayin'.
4. 3-2. Celtics up! Let's do it ;-)
5. Speaking of the Finals....who should be MVP when the Celtics win? (hehe) Everyone has been pretty spotty...thinking Rondo, though.
6. I don't want to see the Karate Kid reboot. I know I'm hating. I kinda see Jaden Smith as a pint-sized Will Smith. The question is, "Glo, do you want to see 2+ hours of Jaden delivering witticisms, while smirking and making "funny" faces ala Will Smith?" Answer--no. Redbox.
7. Warren and I are acting like we don't have about a month to get out of this house. LOL...ehhh....we need to PACK! I hate moving.
8. Speaking of Team Goos. We win.
9. Visited Strong Tower Fellowship in Macon Sunday. It was like a cool breeze on a sweltering day.
10. I feel a political rant blog coming on.
11. One of my hair/loc idols is picking out her locs. Looking forward to the picks.
12. Speaking of locs, I couldn't believe how long my locs looked in that Valana Minerals review blog. Craziness...
13. I have two weddings to go to this year. Should be super fun!
14. *poof*

Review: Valana Minerals (Update/Edit at the end)

My Valana Minerals (VM) order arrived today.

This is the first post I'm doing that will have lots of pictures....You've been warned.

So, a little about VM:

• Mineral foundations, shadows, lipsticks, etc.
• Made specifically for women of color
• 20+ foundation colors

Erin of MakeUp Fiend suggested I try it out. I want to move away from liquid foundation, MAC SFF specifically, because I know it's contributing to my breakouts. My addiction stems from the outstanding coverage MAC provides. I tried Bare Escentuals (or Bare Minerals) in the past. I didn't appreciate (yes, I was kind of offended) by the ONE "black girl" color option provided by the company (at the time...don't know if they've stepped their game up or not). It was ashy looking and provided very light coverage of my dark spots and problem areas. In other words, it was a "no-go."

I've been wary of mineral make-up since then but was a little impressed by how well VM was demonstrated to cover spots (see the left side of the photo gallery under "concealor"). Honestly, the color selection and this picture sold me on trying it out.

So...let's get to the review. I purchased 3 samples--Gentle Amber, Amber Blaze and Mahogany Fire. I chose my colors by looking at pictures from the photo gallery and by using the foundation descriptions. I suggest doing a combination of both to choose probable matches.

I received the following in the mail:

<-------packaging

<------color chart with other information

<--------actual size of the three samples. 5 grams of foundation in 3 stackable jars

Skepticism set in when I swatched my hand...see why below:

I thought I'd missed the mark on the foundation colors by a mile. I picked three different shades to avoid this! *side note* The foundation looks very shimmery in the container but looks less shimmery on the skin.

***Tangent/FYI***

I love make-up vlogs and blogs. I'm subbed to several. Something I've noticed is that none...and I do mean, NONE of the girls really have "problem" skin and most of the "oily" girls aren't "oily". Most of the women I sub to on Youtube have near perfect skin. I'm not sure why any of them bother with foundation at all.

With that being said, I'm going to go out on a limb and post a picture of myself on the www of my face with no make-up. I'm doing it for all the women like me, who appreciate these women, but just can't relate. Shouts out to the sistas with jacked up complexions! Everyone else proceed at your own risk and #dontjudgeme (Yes, I'm talking to you!!!!).

Below are two before pictures.

As you can see, I have extreme problems with hyperpigmention due to my never ending battle with acne. These pictures are of both sides of my face with absolutely no make-up on. I would put these pictures side by side but Blogger won't let me! GRRRR....moving on.

I washed my face with the Mary Kay face wash I purchased about a month ago. Not because it's so wonderful, but because I spent good money on it. I followed the directions on the sheet to apply moisturizer and allow it to fully absorb into the skin. I then chose the color I thought best matched my face (Gentle Amber) and went to work. I covered my problem areas by using my Posh brush because the "bristles" are soft and compact. It seemed perfect for applying the minerals as a concealor.

Here are the afters:

I'm not going to lie. I am impressed by the coverage. It's better than the Make Up Forever HD Foundation coverage and honestly the same as the MAC SFF coverage I get on a lazy application day. Not bad for mineral make-up. Not bad for make-up at all when you have as much to hide as me. I was a bit nervous about potential shine problems (every oily girls enemy) so I applied a little MAC Blot in Dark over it with the MAC 150 brush.

And the front.

Review wouldn't be complete without outside pictures...

Below is a picture of me outside on a completely different day wearing MAC SFF NC50 so you can see the difference.

Lastly, here is a picture of me at the end of the day with approximately 6 hours of wear. ***sidenote*** I'm sick, so I look tired and...yeah...just look at the make up.

Final thoughts:

Overall, I'd say give it a try. I give it a B-. I like it and plan to use it at least 3 times a week to give my skin a break from MAC SFF. I hope I see some changes in my breakout cycle. Unlike MUFE, my face didn't look like I'd painted it with orange, oily clay after wearing it for 30 minutes. We visited a friend and I expected my face to look like an oil slick by the end of the visit (as it does with MUFE and MAC) and it didn't. I was really impressed by this. I'm not saying it cut down on all the oil, but my skin definitely wasn't as oily.

I need play with the other colors to see if i can get a better match, but the Gentle Amber was pretty close, reiterating the fact that the photos and foundation color descriptions can give you a pretty accurate read of which samples to order. I also need to play around with application because I think I can get slightly better coverage. The thing I loved best about it was it washes off very easily. I had no film or extra make up packed in my pores. Great! Great! Great!

I only had two real issues with my Valana Minerals make up:

• 
  
  The slight shimmer of the foundation. It's most noticeable in the sunlight.
• 
  
  My face also itched a bit for the first 30 minutes of wear.

Have you used Valana Minerals? What was your take?

Hope this review was helpful.

Love!

EDIT (6/15/10)

Okay, I realized the itchiing was coming from one of my brushes, not from Valana...didn't use a brush (made liquid foundation) yesterday and there was no itching.

I might be noticing some skin changes but it's really too early to tell. I can say I haven't had as many new pimples, blackheads or whiteheads (which usually develop daily wearing MAC) since Saturday night. The only difference is that I've worn Valana for the past three days. I can also say that Valana didn't seem to exascerbate the two "issues" I was already dealing with (see the pictures).

Lastly, I woke up with no oiliness this morning, again....I think there is a connection between the fact that VM washes off CLEAN. We'll see....I'll update in about a month. Three days without a breakout is kinda ground breaking though. Hmmmmmm.

UPDATE (11/24/10)

Hey mineral makeup enthusiasts!

Just want to make good on the update I was supposed to do in July. *haha* I've been using Valana for 5 months now. I eventually ordered went with Mahogany Fire instead of Gentle Amber. I've purchased two full sized jars/containers since then. 

Final synopsis:

I was originally very satisfied with the coverage but am growing to dislike the look of it on my face. It could be my switch from Gentle Amber to Mahogany Fire. Additionally, I have to admit that the foundation has the best coverage for my severe hyperpigmentation when mixed with moisturizer (a suggested method of application given in the directions, "tinted moisturizer"). Only problem is that most moisturizers, even Neutrogena's Oil Free with SPF 35, exacerbate my skin issues. Also, the oiliness is back! I wake in the morning to sheets of oil on my face...so much for that change. 

In short, I'm stopping by the MAC counter this weekend. LOL...The purpose is to NOT break out. That was my original quest. I might as well go back to MAC if I'm going to have breakouts. I'll use Valana from time to time to give my skin a rest...

In all fairness, Valerie provides GREAT customer service and there are many who have had lasting results with this product. I say TRY it out...just my own experiences.

Love.

Doobie, doobie, doooooo

1. The countdown is on. We're moving in a little over a month. We've got tons of packing to do.
2. I've been on Realtor and Weichert like crazy, trying to figure out if we should buy or rent...still moving.
3. Gave Monica some practice on my hair. She did a good job. I haven't had another person's hands in my hair since 2006. Relaxing!
4. Speaking of Monica, she was a raw foodie for 6 months. Said she would think about revisiting it in 3 months if I want to try it. *pondering*
5. Chuckling over people who were born in raised in Southeast GA putting places in the midwest or north as their "hometowns." How does this work? You were born here, attended elementary, middle and high school here...then you went to college an hour away...BUT you are from (insert a different place)? C'mon son.
6. Can't decide which camcorder to buy...
7. I'm going to order Valana Minerals as soon as I hit the post button. We'll see how it works out. I want to "liberate my face!"
8. People come and people go and then they come back again...'tis life...I'm cool with it.
9. I'm actually getting nervous/anxious about going to this reunion thing. Almost to the point of not going. I need to grow up. I know.
10. J. Nicole is supposed to be coming down on June 18. I'll believe it when I see it....yes, JB...I'm talking to you.
11. *yawn*

Romans 4:17---->Stop half quoting. A much needed repost.

I saw the following on FB yesterday:

"As long as you....speak it into existance you wil receive it?" No...smh.

This made me think of something I wrote a few years ago. The following is a repost of a repost of a repost, originally posted at my myspace blog on 2007 on the butchering of Romans 4:17.
_______________________________________________________________
Gotta write this, because I keep seeing people who are building an entire doctrine from a paraphrased HALF QUOTE.

People often say "Speak those things that are not as though they were." People often use this paraphrased half quote as a means of promoting positive speech and the believer's ability to speak things into existence.

Nothing wrong with speaking positive, but here's the problem. THAT IS NOT WHAT THE VERSE SAYS. Let's begin this examination by reading what the ENTIRE verse says in three different versions.

"...as it is written, "I have made you the father of many nations"--in the presence of the GOD in whom he believed, who gives life to the dead and calls into existence the things that do not exist." English Standard Version

"..As it is written: "I have made you a father of many nations."[a] He is our father in the sight of God, in whom he believed—the GOD who gives life to the dead and calls things that are not as though they were." New International Version

"...(As it is written, I have made thee a father of many nations,) before him whom he believed, even GOD, who quickeneth the dead, and calleth those things which be not as though they were." King James Version
Okay, now WHO is the subject of this verse? Who has the ability to "speak those things that aren't as if though they were"?

GOD. The answer is GOD. GOD has the ability to speak things into existence; not man (whether he be a believer or not).

I know it's a popular doctrine, but let's be clear...Romans 4:17 DOES NOT say that any creation of God, redeemed or otherwise, has the ability to speak things into existence. We are not little gods. God is holy and righteous. He tells us himself in Isaiah 55:8-9: "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." Our God is altogether unique!!!

Now let's read Romans 4:17 in context. Let's check out verses 13 through 25, so we can get the full meaning:

13 For the promise to Abraham and his offspring that he would be heir of the world did not come through the law but through the righteousness of faith. 14 For if it is the adherents of the law who are to be the heirs, faith is null and the promise is void. 15 For the law brings wrath, but where there is no law there is no transgression. 16 That is why it depends on faith, in order that the promise may rest on grace and be guaranteed to all his offspring--not only to the adherent of the law but also to the one who shares the faith of Abraham, who is the father of us all, 17 as it is written, "I have made you the father of many nations"--in the presence of the God in whom he believed, who gives life to the dead and calls into existence the things that do not exist. 18 In hope he believed against hope, that he should become the father of many nations, as he had been told, "So shall your offspring be." 19 He did not weaken in faith when he considered his own body, which was as good as dead (since he was about a hundred years old), or when he considered the barrenness of Sarah's womb. 20 No distrust made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, 21 fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised. 22 That is why his faith was "counted to him as righteousness." 23 But the words "it was counted to him" were not written for his sake alone, 24 but for ours also. It will be counted to us who believe in him who raised from the dead Jesus our Lord, 25 who was delivered up for our trespasses and raised for our justification.

So in reading this, we see that there is no mention of ANYONE being able to speak things into existence but GOD. You will probably also notice that verse 17 and surrounding verses are discussing FAITH in Christ, not your ability to "speak things into existence." A small section of a verse has been brutally butchered and promoted as meaning something altogether different!

Still not convinced that God is the only one that can speak things into existence? Check out the parallel verses for Romans 4:17. (Hebrews 11:19, John 5:21, 1 Corinthians 1:28, Hebrews 11:3, etc.)

I want to close by saying there is nothing wrong with positive speaking, BUT please don't think that in saying you will get a BMW that God has to give you a BMW. Doctrines like these only serve to create a materialist world view among Christians that can only lead to destruction. We, myself included, have to examine ourselves to make sure we are after his heart and not after his hands. God will bless us materially, but if it's your main priority, please turn back to God.

So, if you are a professing Christian who needs material possessions as a sign that God is real or that you are blessed, I beg you to check out Hebrews 11. Here's verse 1, "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things NOT seen." *side note: The "faith" here is referring to our faith in God's promise of salvation through Christ Jesus* Don't be like Thomas who needed to TOUCH the holes in the hands of our Savior to believe that he had resurrected (John 20:24-29). "Blessed are those who have NOT seen and yet have believed." (v 29). Instead rely on the word of God, which is our Father's self revelatory work, proclaiming both his existence and his plan to reconcile his people to himself.