One Hundred Thousand Trillion

1. Had the opportunity to catch the tail end of a coaches clinic at my alma mater thanks to hubby. Watched some cool plays and got the basketball season itch. Excited.
2. Spoke to a former caller on the phone today. Says she hates her new job. Put in her resignation today. Life after college is hard. lol...
3. Need some eyeglasses! Sooooo badly. Was supposed to go price frames today but those plans fell by the wayside. Grrrr.
4. Saw The Expendables today. Glad was caught it for matinee prices. More explosions than a little bit. C- at best.
5. Someone please come twist my hair! My locs days are numbered. I want my fro back. lol...*sigh*
6. Had a great few days of training this past week. New kids look good. Only time will tell.
7. So...Willow Smith has a song out. Jay-Z has signed her. What talent did this nine year old display that caught his attention, you ask? Say the following aloud in a high pitched voice: "I whip my hair back and forth." Now repeat that phrase for three minutes and 16 seconds with a few other adlibs and "haterisms". Add auto-tune and a really hot beat. Rinse, Repeat. Or...just click this link.
8. I really want a Pop Tart right now.
9. Facebook is a friend to the vain and an enemy to the covetous.
10. I think I need to take a break from the following: FightingForTheFaith, Facebook, Youtube and all messageboards. Yes...I think I will.
11. I've fallen off the "working out" bandwagon, but plan on getting back into the routine on Monday.
12. There are people in this world who will suck the life out of you if you let them. Run away.
13. All the cool kids hang out on tumblr. Don't believe me? Go over there! Thing is, I don't GET tumblr. LOL. I created an account and could never figure out how to use it...
14. Speaking of tumblr...their taglines is "....the easiest way to share yourself." Thinking about this brings to mind the concept of internet identity. I was browing tumblr the other day in amazement. I mean...is anyone really that cool or interesting...or mysterious. I really asked myself this. For example, I stumbled upon the tumbleblog of this chic named "Kesh." Follow the link if you're interested (be careful as she likes to pose nude), but I found myself wondering what this chick does during the day. Does she have a job? Who are her parents? What is her family background? Did she go to college? Why is she taking these pictures? Why are they so intriguing? So weird? So vulgar? I mean...who is this broad? LOL...How does someone become her? Like, what has to happen in your brain to produce the ideas behind her photography and personal style? I wondered the same as I browsed Facebook today. Saw some pictures that a FB friend was tagged in. She was an this SUPER ELABORATE bridal shower....as I looked at the detail, the clothing of the guests, the cakes, the gifts, I wondered to myself..."who are these people?" I can't quite explain it...the internet, art, photography have a way of altering reality, making life seem less ordinary and making people seem more interesting...it's really cool and kinda sad in a way. #Justthoughts
15. My dogs need food. Off to WalMart. *poof*

I know...

Blogging is difficult when tackling a touchy subject. I've come here several times within the past few weeks intent on pouring my thoughts out on particular subjects only to close the browser after a few typed sentences.

Here we go again. Perhaps this will make it to the front page.

I'm growing increasingly impatient with "no it alls." Impatient is the opposite of what I should be, but alas,  more grace Lord. Admittedly, I'm burnt right now. Jaded. Disappointed. There are certain things you expect in "the world" that you don't expect among the brethren. I don't expect perfection (how could I?), but I do expect things to be handled biblically. I'm actually disgusted by the disregard and neglect in the situation...eh...I guess it is what it is. Loyalties run deep among the clique...and the band played on...whatever.

Moving on...

Shot a wedding a couple of weeks ago. Amazing. I haven't produced a video in years and I was in heaven. I swear it's what I was made to do...Maybe I'll get to do it full time one day.

Goos started the job at his new school yesterday. He chattered away about the day's events and showed me all his laminated posters he plans on hanging on the walls of his classroom. I haven't seem him this excited about work in over a year. I'm glad he's in a place where his enthusiasm, love for students and love for English will be appreciated. I swear his eyes were twinkling as he spoke. And he has beautiful eyes, by the way---all big and brown, with those long lashes. It's like he got his mojo back...greatness. He's happy. I'm happy.

Class reunion is in October. Have I really been out of high school for 10 years? Hard to believe. I refuse to play "one up" with anyone. I refuse to play the "what are you doing now?" game. I plan to get on the dinner boat on Saturday, ast some overcooked chicken, drink a couple of glasses of Pino and do the Cupid Shuffle until my feet hurt. No one...and I do mean, NO ONE, is going to make me feel like some kid sitting at the "uncool" table at lunch. I say shame on anyone who is avoiding participating for that reason.

Man...so...this "Double Rainbow" guy is killing me. I laugh everytime I see it. On the otherhand, I think it's awesome that he's so excited about something most regard as so simple. We're overbooked and under stimulated, caught up in the day to day stuff that frankly, won't mean much of anything in 100 years or sometimes 100 seconds. Maranatha.

Working out is my new thing. Walking and weight lifting are totally cool. Thanks BWDW! It's more about getting fit than losing weight now. I still want to slim down, but I also want to be healthy.

*yawn*

2/21/10 Ramble

1. This "no fried foods" thing is going horribly! I mean it. Do you know how much food is "fried"???
2. Taking some production classes in the fall??? I want this camcorder.  So expensive but so worth it!
3. Mint Condition concert in less than 2 months.
4. Warren and I doing well on the Dave Ramsey thing. It's amazing what a little discipline and common sense can make in the area of finances. Read some success stories here.
5. I'm pretty sure there are no "EX" shirts I can wear in good conscience. Probably why I still don't own one. Not knocking it, just sayin'. May do a blog post on this.
6. Heard an EXCELLENT sermon at Providence Church this morning. Preached from Leviticus 10...the Nadab and Abihu incident. God is indeed merciful...yes "merciful," and yes both "mercy" and the gospel of Christ are in this passage....No eisegesis.
7. Heard some bad news on Friday that had me more than a little heated for most of the weekend. There is major comfort in knowing God's hand guides all things.
8. Why has it been nearly two weeks since I at least typed a ramble? I have two blog posts in the making though. Just working on some wording.
9. My client may have two others to send me! She's sweet. So exciting. We'll see. Hustle hard. haha.
10. Read 1984 last Saturday. It's officially still in the top ten books ever. Reading 100 Years of Solitude right now. So far, so good. Next on the list is The Help.

Catch you on the flip side.

Cluttered mind

I've been struggling with what I should discuss ever since I decided to get back into blogging. My mind is literally full of ideas. "Cluttered" is actually a better word. Should I discuss my thoughts about the latest sermon preached at my church, my views on the hooplah that surrounded the speech President Obama delivered to students this past Tuesday, my views about the latest Tyler Perry movie, hair care, relationships, Chris Rock's upcoming movie about the black hair care industry, or the latest drama on HCR ?

I'm really stuck.

I guess I can begin with the Chris Rock movie. Although the politics of black hair, has been documented both on film, in articles and books, Rock's fame and ability to get a major distributor will bring a new audience into the discussion. His inspiration for making this movie was his 2 year old daughter's struggle with her own hair texture. Imagine a 2 year old child, in tears, because she doesn't have "good hair." Sad in so many ways. It lands in theaters this October and I plan to see it on opening night.

I've been wearing my hair natural, and by "natural," I mean "chemical free," since late 2002. It was a no brainer to me. The process of getting my hair "relaxed" had always been cumbersome and beauty salons were unbearable.

I would see women with fades, TWAs, puffs, locs and twists and stare at them in awe, wishing I was "brave" enough to join them in their journey. I'd make excuses about why I couldn't "go natural." I mean, THEY could do it because they had a pretty face or high cheek bones or *gasp* wavy "good" hair. I, on the other hand, had a big face and strong features. Add that to the concerns that men wouldn't find me attractive, my hair is "bad," people would think I'm unprofessional or that someone might mistake me for a man and my anxiety only increased.

Finally after about 2 years of unneccesary agonizing, I subjected myself to my last "hit" in August 2002. I'd planned to wear my hair under braids for 6 months to alow my hair to grow out and then cut off the processed ends. My plans were foiled when I, in a fit of frustration, took a pair of old scissors to my hair late one evening at the end of September. I went to bed with a feeling of triumph. After looking in the mirror the next morning, triumph faded into grief. What had I done!!! After I got used to my new look (and after a hair trim given to me by my very talented aunt), I embraced my nappiness with exuberance.

I must admit that my "joy" turned to into "militancy" in my early days in napdom. I'd rove the countryside sharing the nappy "gospel" to all who would listen. I'd pout and read the horrors stories at Nappturality about insensitive co-workers, relatives and spouses. "They just don't understand the struggle"  or "they're just brainwashed" were the typical responses to those who dared to allow their eyes to glance at our 'fros too long or to ask questions about our cottony crowns. We'd turn our noses up at the receeding hair lines and "see through" hair of some of our relaxed sisters. We'd share ideas about hairstyles. We'd share homemade pomade and cream recipes. We'd laugh and some days we'd cry. We all shared the same inner feeling of freedom mixed with fear. It all seems rather melodramatic to someone who isn't in the know or even someone like myself who's far removed from my experience as a new nap. I even find MYSELF murmuring "it's only hair." Ha...yes, it is "only hair" but then again, it's not "only hair." When a woman's entire esteem and positive self perception is rooted in the appearance of her hair, it's NOT just hair. When I remember this, I scold myself for being so impatient with someone who's just BC'd for the first time, knowing that each public appearance is an exercise of courage. Shouts out to my new sisters trying to make it through their first year, chem free.

Here I am, older, wiser and 7 years into the game. I don't expect for every black woman to agree with me in my sentiments that wearing our hair chemical free is the most healthy option but I'm glad I didn't continue to allow the possible perceptions of others to keep me in an unhealthy place.

Hmmm...

Okay, so I have a lot of options with this thing. It's definitely a work in progress. I'm still trying to figure out how everything works over here.

The "first post"

How many blogs have I loved and left? I think I’ve broken up with at least 7. Many names and locations I don’t remember. The last was Myspace. We were good while we lasted. Our relationship lasted nearly 3 years. It was an on again off again affair, of course. I scrawled little notes here and there as I was inspired. It pretty much ended when I decided Facebook was a better social networking site. It's much more sleek and easy to navigate. It’s been at least 6 months since we’ve spoken. I think I’ll lay my hat here at blogger for a while (again). Hoping it works out.