Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Note to self (and whoever's reading this)

I'm an avid blog reader. Blog topics ranging from saving money, to being a SAHM, to fashion and makeup fill my Blogger.com RSS feed equivalent ("Following"). I love reading about the lives of others, the views of others and the interests of others. I guess I'm naturally inquisitive. I get to journey other states and meet seemingly exciting, creative, humble, orderly people with the click of a button. Some days I chuckle, some days I'm in awe, other days I'm inspired to try new things or to approach life from a different perspective. The internet is truly a wonderful place, when used properly and in moderation.

In my first or second post, I divulged my relationship with blogs. I love them and then I leave them for a number of reasons. It's been easy to do because all of my blogs have served a particular and specific purpose in my life at the time they were written. My life immediately after undergrad was documented. My life as a young, single Christian in my first "real" job was documented. I documented loves and losses and all the foibles in between. Blogging, to me, is free therapy. Sometimes I visit my old blogs and I'm amazed at the person I find. Sometimes she's bitter. Sometimes she's thoughtful. Sometimes she's creative. Sometimes she's down right snarky. Other times she's one of the most focused and impressive women I've ever encountered.

Looking back at this blog, I see a change of tone that is both refreshing and depressing. The woman here has struggled with her role as a wife and eventual mother. The woman here doesn't know what she wants to be, or where she wants to go. The woman here is sometimes funny, mostly transparent and  trying to spiritually navigate her way through this life, for better and for worse. She's not perfect. She doesn't pretend to be.

Many of my blog posts will not be rainbows and butterflies. I don't want to create a different "internet" Glo that is more satisfying to the common palette (mine included). I need to be who I am. I need to see myself, flaws and all, so I can confront them and hopefully address them by his spirit.

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