Motherhood, again....

I was hanging out with two couples from my church about a week or so ago. As usual, within three minutes of our arrival, the women gathered in the kitchen and the men gathered in the living room. Are we made this way? Why do we do this? Anyway, a conversation begins, quite innocently, about another couple that was unable to attend our little get together. Our hostess furrowed her brow at the very mention of absent wife's name and proceeded to tell us why Absent Wife was a bad person.

Now, do not get me wrong. Absent Wife is a bad person, but then again, so am I, as is Hostess. None stand guiltless before the Lord. The cause of the burning in my chest was the attitude taken towards Absent Wife. Apparently, she has two small children and works outside the home. Even when her husband, hearing the chatter, called from the living room to say, "Honey, you're gossiping," she continued on in a hushed voice about how she doesn't respect her.

I'd like to flesh this out a bit more in a later post, but I could hear these word echoing in my mind:

God, I thank you that I'm not like other women, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like Absent Wife, who works outside the home and puts her children in day care....

I know that isn't how the verse goes (full passage here), but it's seriously what I felt she was basically saying. It's almost as if Hostess felt she was more blessed in Christ or more sanctified because she stays at home. Hostess cemented my perception when she finished her critique of the woman by saying, matter of factly, that she and Absent Wife "just have different worldviews," as if this woman's very salvation is tied up in whether her kids are put in daycare or not.

In the meantime, the woman is given no grace and offered no love (and no respect). We don't know why Absent Wife is working outside the home. We don't know her financial situation AND if indeed, we can prove that the Lord calls all women with children to stay home, why not sit that sister down and speak to her about what the Lord says instead of writing her off like some "nominal Christian"? (and what is a "nominal Christians" anyway?????)

With that said, here are some questions that I ponder on the regular. I invite all who read this to ponder and search the scriptures as well.

1. What does God say about mothers working outside the home?
2. Have most Christian woman fallen victim to feminist views on gender roles and careers?
3. What's the "modern" Christian woman to do in the face of SAHM who aren't feeling the Christian career woman/mother?

2/21/10 Ramble

1. This "no fried foods" thing is going horribly! I mean it. Do you know how much food is "fried"???
2. Taking some production classes in the fall??? I want this camcorder.  So expensive but so worth it!
3. Mint Condition concert in less than 2 months.
4. Warren and I doing well on the Dave Ramsey thing. It's amazing what a little discipline and common sense can make in the area of finances. Read some success stories here.
5. I'm pretty sure there are no "EX" shirts I can wear in good conscience. Probably why I still don't own one. Not knocking it, just sayin'. May do a blog post on this.
6. Heard an EXCELLENT sermon at Providence Church this morning. Preached from Leviticus 10...the Nadab and Abihu incident. God is indeed merciful...yes "merciful," and yes both "mercy" and the gospel of Christ are in this passage....No eisegesis.
7. Heard some bad news on Friday that had me more than a little heated for most of the weekend. There is major comfort in knowing God's hand guides all things.
8. Why has it been nearly two weeks since I at least typed a ramble? I have two blog posts in the making though. Just working on some wording.
9. My client may have two others to send me! She's sweet. So exciting. We'll see. Hustle hard. haha.
10. Read 1984 last Saturday. It's officially still in the top ten books ever. Reading 100 Years of Solitude right now. So far, so good. Next on the list is The Help.

Catch you on the flip side.

2/9/2010 Ramble

1. Last day of "water only" is today! Going to drink a Coke for breakfast. Woop Woop!
2. The GMAT class I've been waiting to take for a month or so is canceled. Closed door or opened door?
3. Hoping to update my portfolio in the next few months. Excited.
4. The "no fried foods" thing is going to be more difficult than water only.
5. Rethinking some stuff.
6. Warren almost got scammed by some con artists pretending to be Sprint today! They called and said we owed $____ on our phone bill and that service would be discontinued in 48 hours if he didn't pay. They wanted his zip code and card number. Only problem is we JUST paid our bill IN FULL like 2 weeks ago. Do not fall for this!
7. The loc maintenance side hustle is going well. I really like my current client. Looking to expand soon.
8. Going to a wedding next month. So excited :-)

"Two forms of self righteousness...."

I was reading a very interesting article titled Sanctification: Living by the Gospel by Les Newsom, RUF Campus Minister at Ole Miss. Click here to read the article in full.

He says,

I like to joke (sort of) that there are actually two forms of the self-righteous. The first kind is the old Fundy kind. This is the person who lives very confidently in Christ, after all they have their quiet times faithfully, they go to all the best Bible studies, and they certainly do not hang around those people...the bad people that is...(those who drink or sleep around). And God likes me because I do so. The other form of self righteousness is what I call the Theologian kind. The people don't boast so much in their accomplishments as they do in their knowledge. They replace the quiet time with theological precision. But the disease is just the same, God likes me because I have attained unto a certain understanding of all that is deep and philosophical about the Bible...

I just wanted to share this because I think it's a great observation.

And anotha one....

I know I already posted today, but I need to ramble before I go home.

1. Warren preached his first sermon exhorted the brethren on Sunday from Matthew 7:13-23. It's a real distinction according to the Book of Church Order. LOL...leave it to the PCA.
2. My dad stopped into town on Saturday. Greatness!
3. Saw Avatar. It was aight...yes...just aight.
4. Officially 32 days drinking water only as this day closes out. Only 8 more to go. *pats myself on the back*
5. Today begins "no fried foods" for a month or so...
6. Had a really good time hanging out at the Barnes's house on Saturday night.
7. Had a great time fellowshipping with the Bradford's, J. Porter and K. Greene on Sunday afternoon. Encouraging.
8. Listening to What Kind of Man Would I Be as I type this...still a great song.
9. I feel like I may pick up the pen again. Itching to hit an open mic night.
10. Friends are hard to come by. Nuture the relationships you have...
11. Warren finally mated Judah today. I'm so sad :-(
12. Our electricity bill was $203. In a "fight the powers that be" moment, we turned our heat off about 3 or 4 days ago...this morning it was 49 degrees in our house. What on earth were we thinking? Hope the savings are worth it.
13. God is sovereign.

The Part Time Housewife

A friend shared this blog post with me. I must say that I agree with the woman's thoughts on working outside the home. A few years ago, when asked to discuss my five year plan, I responded "In five year, I hope to be a wife and mother."

A few years ago, when asked to discuss my five year plan, I responded "In five year, I hope to be a wife and mother." I remember actually getting into arguments with people who felt staying at home was a waste of time and the mark of a lazy woman. I don’t know when it became LAZY for a woman to keep the home and watch her own children rather than hiring someone else to do it, but that is a completely different story for a completely different blog post.

I did and DO enjoy my job, but the plan was to get a job, go back to graduate school, work a little more to give me something to do until my Prince Charming came along. Thankfully, my Prince Charming came along and I praise God for him, however, as I face the possibility of actually having to “put my money where my mouth is” I’m realizing that being SAHM may not be an immediate option for us.

In a different blog post on the same topic she says:

In the land of idealistic egalitarianism, both spouses work the same number of hours and spend the same amount of time on childcare and household chores. But in real life, it rarely works.

I almost have to agree with this. I'm not a mother yet, but juggling my household responsibilities with my work responsibilities is a bit tiring. My hours make much of what I'm able to do, possible. Working a regular 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. would drive me crazy, as I would still need to manage things at home. My typical mornings during the week involve washing and folding clothes, cleaning the kitchen, cleaning our bedroom and bathroom, taking care of the dogs, vacuuming, cleaning windows, running errands, paying bills, budgeting and everything in between. I stop around 11:30 a.m. to make lunch (and sometimes dinner for Warren) and to get myself ready for work. I don't mind doing all these things because I like Warren to come home to a clean and orderly house. I'm a part time housewife and it's hard. I have to admit though that the possibility of throwing a baby into this rotation is frightening. I really don't know how people do it.

I'm all over the place, I want to go back to school, but I ultimately want to stay home. I want us to be able to afford a home and children without struggling, but then I know Warren isn't about to be some false preacher doing the money cometh dance, duping people out of their money in the name of "Gawd," so realistically we're not going to be loaded. I guess I somehow believe that if I go back to school everything will be "okay" but honestly from an emotional and spiritual sense, it could be worse in the long run. The idol of control rears his ugly head again....GRRRR.

A friend and new mother had this as her Facebook status message last week

Trying to be a career woman, mother , and wife feels difficult. I miss my baby, but I definitely need the moola.

I don't want to be her. I don't want to experience this. More motherhood vs. career tension for ya on a Monday night.