Monday, February 1, 2010

The Part Time Housewife

A friend shared this blog post with me. I must say that I agree with the woman's thoughts on working outside the home. A few years ago, when asked to discuss my five year plan, I responded "In five year, I hope to be a wife and mother."

A few years ago, when asked to discuss my five year plan, I responded "In five year, I hope to be a wife and mother." I remember actually getting into arguments with people who felt staying at home was a waste of time and the mark of a lazy woman. I don’t know when it became LAZY for a woman to keep the home and watch her own children rather than hiring someone else to do it, but that is a completely different story for a completely different blog post.

I did and DO enjoy my job, but the plan was to get a job, go back to graduate school, work a little more to give me something to do until my Prince Charming came along. Thankfully, my Prince Charming came along and I praise God for him, however, as I face the possibility of actually having to “put my money where my mouth is” I’m realizing that being SAHM may not be an immediate option for us.

In a different blog post on the same topic she says:
In the land of idealistic egalitarianism, both spouses work the same number of hours and spend the same amount of time on childcare and household chores. But in real life, it rarely works.
I almost have to agree with this. I'm not a mother yet, but juggling my household responsibilities with my work responsibilities is a bit tiring. My hours make much of what I'm able to do, possible. Working a regular 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. would drive me crazy, as I would still need to manage things at home. My typical mornings during the week involve washing and folding clothes, cleaning the kitchen, cleaning our bedroom and bathroom, taking care of the dogs, vacuuming, cleaning windows, running errands, paying bills, budgeting and everything in between. I stop around 11:30 a.m. to make lunch (and sometimes dinner for Warren) and to get myself ready for work. I don't mind doing all these things because I like Warren to come home to a clean and orderly house. I'm a part time housewife and it's hard. I have to admit though that the possibility of throwing a baby into this rotation is frightening. I really don't know how people do it.

I'm all over the place, I want to go back to school, but I ultimately want to stay home. I want us to be able to afford a home and children without struggling, but then I know Warren isn't about to be some false preacher doing the money cometh dance, duping people out of their money in the name of "Gawd," so realistically we're not going to be loaded. I guess I somehow believe that if I go back to school everything will be "okay" but honestly from an emotional and spiritual sense, it could be worse in the long run. The idol of control rears his ugly head again....GRRRR.

A friend and new mother had this as her Facebook status message last week
Trying to be a career woman, mother , and wife feels difficult. I miss my baby, but I definitely need the moola.
I don't want to be her. I don't want to experience this. More motherhood vs. career tension for ya on a Monday night.


  1. I have to admit, Glo, discussions like this have me a bit confused. For the women who married men who were self-supporting before they were married, how does adding one more mouth to feed & a few additional expenses associated with the presence of another (the chick) make it so that an entire additional job is needed to support the new married couple? It seems that if a dude was able to support himself before, he can support them both after. All she's adding in terms of expenses is more food and maybe the hairdresser's appointment. This comes up because I guess I'm looking at the foundational issue of why having the woman work at home seems like a hardship to so many couples. Now, if a woman is able to prioritize home and still happily hold down an outside job, that's great. But why is it a big issue if she stays home? Thanks, sis.

  2. Hey Eve,

    I really think it depends on the amount of debt that both parties bring to the relationship. I know in my situation, my husband had a good bit of school debt and I had credit card debt. Add in household expenses and rent and I HAVE to work. I think with this in mind, if we moved to an 900 sq ft apartment and he made about $10K more per year, we'd be OKAY...not good, but OKAY. We would half our total gross had I gotten pregnant and done the SAHM thing. Talk about making a dollar out of 15 cents!

    My personal struggle is the lifestyle change. Going from DINKS to having a kid or two is a big change for the woman. The man can continue on for the most part in his regular routine but the career woman has to refocus priorities.

    Eh...we're trying to pay down debt to get ourselves into a better situation in case we get preggers :-)