Scrolling on Facebook. It's what I do. A lot. I can do it for hours. I like to tell myself it's a good way to "wind down" from a long day. "It's a good mental break," I say. "Only for a few minutes," I think. Forty minutes later, there I sit or lay. In my car. On my bed. Knees up or legs crossed. Phone held 6 inches from my face. Staring at the screen. At lives, or at least what people share. At funny photo sets an memes of dogs, celebrities, internet famous twenty somethings cranking fantastic content from their bedrooms.
So yesterday, or maybe it was the day before yesterday, I stumbled upon a 4 minute video in my news feed. Caption was something like, "What if we believed in ourselves as much as Kanye West believes in himself..." Curious, I put my cursor and on the play button, left clicked, and watched. Video has strong language, so if that bothers you, don't watch.
About 1:00 minute in, Kanye appears in a white room on a white couch wearing a white shirt and says: "If there's anyone out there who is actually 'doing', they know how hard it is to 'do."
I experienced the simultaneous feeling of being punched in the gut and being embraced by a dear friend. This really "laid me bare" as the old church folks say. He identified a problem I haven't been able to clearly articulate. I have a problem with "doing" for myself. Actually DOING. I have the ideas. I have the energy. I have the desire. What's missing is "doing."
It's time to "do."